The Painting Is Not A Mirror
Lately, I have been feeling like with every step forward in progressing toward my professional/creative goals I am hit with an equal or greater powered wave of self-doubt and critique.
Somehow tied up in every victory is an undercurrent of pushback against myself.
One second I am stoked about a new accomplishment or opportunity and then 30 minutes later the internal pushback sets in.
I’ve realized that what sparks this cycle of self-doubt and critique for me is comparison.
If you are a musician or creative type in any capacity I am sure you have experienced the full range of “fun” feelings that come from comparing ourselves and our work to others.
envy, jealousy, inferiority, indignation, resentment, isolation… the list goes on.
These reactions to comparison can derail my entire day and take me from a place of confident productivity and stability to literally crushing all my motivation to try.
Comparison is like looking at a beautiful painting and believing it should be a mirror.
That is to say that what we see what is created by others as a reflection of who we are and what we do.
Not to Be Reproduced, 1937 by Rene Magritte
Comparison is a never-ending trap especially when it involves those who are working toward similar goals as us.
We look at their moments of success separate from the context of hard work and struggle.
While comparing our situation to others can offer helpful perspective and insight into figuring out how to overcome our own challenges, it is not the end all be all measurement of our personal value or legitimacy.
Comparison is not a good metric for determining our own success.
Comparison robs us of the opportunity to celebrate our peers and turns that energy into a way of keeping ourselves down.
“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” -Iyanla Vanzant
You will never experience confidence or satisfaction in yourself when you are continually comparing who you are and what you are doing to other people.
So what do we do about it?
I’ve tried many times to remove the opportunities in which I might compare myself and my work to others but this isn’t a long-term solution.
Distance doesn’t really get to the internal issue, which is that I feel like I am somehow a sub-par version of myself when I see other people’s progress or success.
So what if instead of avoiding comparison entirely we just made sure we were comparing ourselves to the right people?
The only true metric for comparison is yourself vs. your past self.
You are the only person who has the same exact resources and experiences as yourself.
You are the only person with your story and your life to live.
Comparing yourself to someone else and considering yourself a failure is a waste.
It is like trying to measure how tall something is in gallons.
When we take the time to compare ourselves with where we’ve come from and the person we were in the past we have a better opportunity to celebrate the ways we have grown and keep our work in the context of our Journey.
Main Take Aways
Comparison is like looking at a beautiful painting and believing it should be a mirror.
Comparison robs us of the opportunity to celebrate our peers
The only true metric for comparison is yourself vs. your past self.
What’s next?
Reflect back on the last five years and ask yourself these questions:
What have you accomplished that you are proud of?
What areas of your life would “past” you be blown away by?
Who do you have to thank for helping you along your Journey?
